Out of Psych
by Fate Pwns You
Summary: The worst decision Alice could have ever made was taking psychology class with her boyfriend. "So, I guessed Alice was super drunk, like not 'Teehee hashtag instagram selfie' drunk, but 'I'm thirsty for the Annihilator' drunk and she had that look in her eye that screamed that she wanted my Annihilator in her mouth." The worst. Ace/Alice. AU.


**Summary: The worst decision Alice could have ever made was taking psychology class with her boyfriend. "So, I guessed Alice was super drunk, like not 'Teehee hashtag instagram selfie' drunk, but 'I'm thirsty for the Annihilator' drunk and she had that look in her eye that screamed that she wanted my Annihilator in her mouth." The worst. Ace/Alice. AU. **

**Warning: Dumb, ignorant teenagers talking loosely about rape and the like.**

**I have a thing for AUs haha**

**HnKnA isn't mine.**

**-.-**

**Out of Psych**

_Briiiiiing. Briiiiiing. Briiiiiing._

Alice glanced up from her lunch with a look of wonder on her face, "Wow, fifth period starts already? It feels like lunch just started!" Toward the end of her exclamation, she couldn't help but notice how her companions across the table shook their heads.

Julius gave her a blank expression while he stood to his feet while carrying his tray to the garbage, "Maybe because you slept through half of it."

"Or because for the other half you were fantasizing about your boyfriend." Nightmare stated through kissy lips that immediately earned him a glare from her sharply.

"Don't hate because I get the D every night and you don't."

"I can't hate if I'm not gay and even if I was, I would never be attracted to _Ace_."

Alice gave a scowl though she said nothing more on the subject.

It really wasn't out of the ordinary for people, especially guys to be so weary of Ace.

He wasn't exactly the most normal guy in the school, though she supposed most of the male dislike of him was due to jealousy considering how popular he was with the female population.

Ace, her boyfriend for nearly a year now, was captain of the football team and also immensely handsome and friendly, of course his friendliness often came with a darker, clingier sense that often scared people off whenever he got too close, but it was really easy to look past that.

Alice had witnessed the male's stranger side more times to count due to their intimate relationship, but really it wasn't as bad as people exaggerated it out to be.

It wasn't like he was a serial killer.

Sure, one time he'd threatened to kill her cat if she ever left him, but she was like 70% sure he had only been kidding. Mostly because he knew if he ever touched Dinah in a manner like that, Alice would vine herself ripping out his spine with her bare hands.

Other than that, Ace was a goofy and cute guy that resembled a cuddly teddy bear.

Julius was Ace's best friend and after Alice began going out with Ace, the two of them had become friends thereafter.

He and Ace both seemed to have that reputation of being weirdoes that made people cringe from them in the hallways, the only difference had to be that Ace was genuinely someone that would probably hide under your bed and grab your ankle after you shut off the lights whereas Julius was just a guy that grew his hair in hopes of becoming a male Rapunzel.

Well, that was Alice's theory anyways.

Even her sister had shorter hair than him and her sister's hair was pretty damn long.

The three of them all had the same fifth period and as usual they walked with their usual light chatter.

Julius never really talked though and Alice never was able to get a word in considering how big Nightmare's mouth was all the time, so pretty much when they got inside of the nearly filled classroom the two were rolling their eyes at the silver haired male that was complaining off about something they didn't care too much about.

Alice slipped into her seat quietly; already sighing at the fact assigned seats were a thing.

Every time she came in she wished so badly to be able to sit next to her friends so she could feel more comfortable.

Ace walked in soon with two girls near him talking animatedly and when he saw Alice at her desk, he waved the two girls bye before quickly moving to give the brunette a kiss on the cheek that made her blush with a frown when she heard people nearby whisper about the display.

He didn't appear to notice her discomfort and shot her a grin, "Can you believe December's here already? It feels like it was January just yesterday!"

"Ace, we're nearly a week into December."

"We have to appreciate the time we're given, Alice. Aren't you always the one telling me that?"

The brunette gave a heavy sigh as the late bell to signal the beginning of class rang up above.

The teacher, Dr. Walker then strode in, his serial killer-like moustache seeming to have gotten more eerie looking over the weekend in Alice's opinion.

He was actually the perfect Psychology teacher because with how his hair looked like it'd just been through a bunch of mindfucking daily, it kind of fit. On his own, he was a nice enough guy, definitely not one of her teachers that she wanted to Spartan-kick down a well that was for sure.

"So… Let's start today's topic on aggression." He stated while walking to the board.

Alice could hear people in the back of the room talking to one another as the man took out his marker and began to write, though she kept her head stuck to her notes.

Every so often Ace would turn around and ask someone for a pencil because his kept breaking and due to their seat arrangements, she always was the one to make eye contact with him whenever he did and she soon found her pencil case feeling incredibly empty.

"Wait, so is it possible to say that the male 'need' to be in control is one of the causes for let's say, rape?"

"It is very possible, Mr. March."

"Aggression and abuse are tied very closely to self control. It really isn't a surprise that rape is another thing that has to do with self control that men just can't seem to master." Vivaldi indignantly snorted, her face appearing entirely bored as everyone now glanced over at her.

Majority of the boys gave her a scowl as Dr. Walker laughed nervously.

Ah… It was always refreshing to go inside of Psychology to hear Vivaldi powering up feminism.

"Not exactly how I'd word it, Ms. Dupre, but I suppose that's about right?"

"Whoa, but rape isn't only self control! Sometimes, it's all about the whole consent issue! Girls and their blurred lines are hard to read!"

"The fuck do you think you're doing trying to defend rape?"

"Did you really just use a Robin Thicke song for your argument?"

"Here is a shining example of how men can't control their mouths. Lord knows how you'd control that shiver led up shrimp in your boxers." Vivaldi made a face his way.

As the class began going into a heated discussion on rape all at once, Alice heaved a sigh, already recognizing the look in Dr. Walker's eye as a new lesson plan topic came to his mind.

Moving to the board, he easily began writing 'Psychology of Consent' beside the original notes before turning around with a grin, "Since you're all so interested in this topic, let's take it a step further, shall we?"

"Okay, but what exactly _is _consent?"

"Something you're never going to get with that kind of ugly face."

"Or that tiny dick in your pants."

"It's when the girl or boy verbally says it's okay to go into having sex. Basically if they don't say it or they're fighting against it, it's rape."

"But like, it's not rape if she wants it, right?"

"If the woman doesn't say yes then it is rape. It isn't that hard to understand." Vivaldi solidly stated, her face incredibly stern while she eyed the male intensely, "If she says maybe, it is rape. If she says yes, but then changes her mind and says no, then it is rape. It isn't rocket science." She rolled her eyes.

"But like… What if—"

"Stop talking. I wouldn't be surprised if your ignorance is contagious."

As the class began raving about how Vivaldi shut him down, Alice couldn't help but admire the outspoken female that sat with a scowl now on her face.

She wished she could speak up like that in class, but honestly, she got so nervous more than half the time just from the idea of raising her hand to answer a question.

Contributing to an argument would only make her end up tripping on the staircase that was her words.

The last thing she wanted was to bring attention to herself in the big class of nearly 50 students.

"Thank you, Ms. Dupre for educating those less fortunate." Dr. Walker coughed into his hand before taking a seat on the desk of an absent student up in front.

He dusted his hands on his pants and Alice dully thought of how he clearly missed a spot in ironing it.

Now her OCD was getting as bad as Peter's...

"Now on the topic of consent, does anyone have a story to share where you were in a situation that required you to pull back because of last minute decisions?"

The class was silent.

Alice couldn't think of a time like that anyways, unless she counted a moment where she nearly accepted Blood Dupre's request to be his model for art this semester. She'd quickly pulled out when she found out nude modeling was a part of the curriculum.

"Oh come on, you're all legal adults or almost legal, we all know about half of you have done some crazy shit. Just share. You can keep names anonymous if you want." Dr. Walker remarked when it became apparent no one was going to speak.

The class still made no noise. Everyone appeared to be glancing around, waiting for someone else to say something first.

Alice sighed.

She'd much rather fall down a deep hole before speaking any of her business to these lot.

You'd have to be really thirsty for attention or just flat out stupid if you shared something like this.

Distantly, she could remember when she and Ace both had sex for the first time. She had been so inexperienced and a total virgin, the whole thing had been immensely awkward especially after she had see exactly how big his cock had been. The amount of times she continuously changed her mind in a single minute on discontinuing the sex because of how fearful she had been about him sticking that quote _Annihilator_ unquote inside of her had to have been somewhere in the upper hundreds.

She supposed that could probably count as a consent issue, but not really because in the end she had sucked in her breath and bit the pillow like a trooper and took it like a woman.

It would have been dreadfully embarrassing if she said that story out to the class and she couldn't even imagine the humiliation that would come after it was spoken.

Her eyes went up ahead where she saw the back of Ace's head and she couldn't help but smile at the thought of hanging out with him after school.

Though those thoughts were immediately shattered when she saw Ace leaning down to listen to the guy beside him that had something to say.

Wait a minute.

Wait. A. Minute.

"_Bro, don't you have a story?"_

No, he doesn't.

He really doesn't.

Alice found her anxiety beginning to rise.

Oh, hell.

Ace straightened up in his desk before turning to the male and laughing lowly.

"_I guess, I kind of do. Should I say it?"_

No.

No.

No, you shouldn't.

If anything he needed to shut up and take his damn notes because God knew he'd come laughing to Alice later begging to copy hers because his always got 'lost.'

"_Totally._"

Eyes threatening to widen, Alice tried to hide her internal nervous breakdown by biting her tongue.

Please don't let follow through with that boy's suggestion.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Ace raised his hand upward.

Alice was about .2 seconds away from throwing up her lunch.

Please just let him be raising his hand to ask to use the bathroom.

Please.

Please.

Please.

"Dr. Walker, I have a situation to share!"

In that moment only one thing passed the female's mind…

What exactly happened to make God feel so cruel today?

Why was she the victim of his PMS? (Though she truly wasn't sure if he could suffer from PMS because she was pretty sure he didn't have genitalia or any kind of organs at all, though she was just guessing.)

The day had been going so well and now it seemed like it was going to head to the shitter.

Dr. Walker perked up and turned his attention over to the brunet curiously and Alice felt her palms growing significantly sweatier.

Please don't let the situation involve her.

Please.

Please.

Please.

"It's with me and Alice!"

Alice was positive that if some sort of divine force didn't just shoot her down and kill her where she sat, the embarrassment from the impending situation was going to be the death of her.

Everyone in the class turned to her, some with grins and others with looks of curiosity.

Completely red faced, Alice attempted to give Ace a glare in order to signal him to watch his words, but due to their positioning she went entirely unnoticed.

"Damn it." She muttered beneath her breath.

She wondered if it was too late to pray for God's mercy.

As Boris threw up the 'West Side' gang sign from across the room to the Tweedles, she kind of knew that the whole classroom was more than likely condemned to suffer from their sins.

What even possessed her to take this class?

Julius said it'd look good on her transcript for college and Ace encouraged her because a class with the three of them would be fun.

Hahahahahahahaha. Fun.

Hahahahahahahaha.

So funny. She was having so much fun. Fun, fun, fun.

Kill her.

"Go on," Dr. Walker instructed with a nod, his face clearly becoming more interested in the developing topic, "This outta be interesting."

It was clear that he had already had amusement from a story that had yet to be told, which certainly wasn't a good thing.

The amount of times that Ace had raised his hand or just blurted out his own commentary in that class that was so innocently spoken that it was just flat out hilarious to the dull, half-witted children in the classroom was incomprehensible to the brunette.

She was surrounded by idiots and she had regularly had sex with the king of them.

Ace straightened up in his seat and Alice's eyes fleeted out the window where she began contemplating if an adrenaline rush would give her enough strength to send her boyfriend flying out.

He had to be nearly twice her weight but if science was as groundbreaking as atheists seemed to believe, then it was entirely possible.

Christianity and her faith in God already failed her, perhaps science wouldn't.

"Alright, so she and I were at this huge house party a while back. Everyone was having fun, you know? Everyone was twerking up on the walls, smoking blunts, drinking apple juice but swearing its beer, and yeah basically that. Anyways, I'm walking upstairs to go use the bathroom, but I got lost and somehow ended up in one of the house's bedrooms. When I go in there, Alice practically falls all over me like a slip'n'slide."

Why was she alive?

Why was Ace even her boyfriend?

Why was she asking herself questions instead of running out of the classroom?

"Her top's off so basically all I'm seeing is her bullet breasts flinging all over the place like some kind of paddle ball and I'm surprised at seeing her all vulnerable and stuff so I try to help her back to the bed to lay down and what not, but when I led her there, things got a little intense."

The shame of the life she lived honestly had no bounds.

If she had any regrets about anything it was obviously not properly maintaining a will.

She really hoped Edith didn't touch any of her stuff, the little shit.

Honestly, just opening the window and cartwheeling out seemed ideal.

If she was lucky, she'd break enough bones to where not even life support could save her.

"So, I guessed Alice was super drunk, like not 'Teehee hashtag instagram selfie' drunk, but 'I'm thirsty for the Annihilator' drunk and she had that look in her eye that screamed that she wanted _my_ Annihilator in her mouth." Ace explained with a nod, "Oh, man she attacked my face and I assume she's a hungry drunk? Because she was practically trying to eat my lips off."

"Cannibaliceism." She distantly heard Nightmare cough out from the back of the class.

Ace leaned back in his seat, "I didn't want to push her off because a Knight always gives a woman what she wants, right? So we're making out and she's getting really desperate and things start getting hot when she's buttoning down my pants and—"

"Are you really about to narrate a time when you and Alice had drunk sex?" Boris bluntly interjected, his face terribly cynical.

Thank God someone stopped him because Alice was too busy planning her escape to Peru to even bother at that point in time.

If she just learned Spanish she should be good.

She could change her name to Aliceita and if her learning didn't work out she was sure her IPhone had a good translator app she could use for the rest of her life.

As if she'd ever step foot in this classroom again after Ace seriously began talking about a time they nearly had drunk sex.

Ace waved him off, "And that's when she was all 'Oh, wait hold on, I forgot something.' I look at her in confusion because what could you be forgetting at a time like that, you know? So she leans back off of me and takes off her fake legs."

What the fuck?

Alice glanced up from her desk to look at the back of her boyfriend's head in nothing short but bafflement.

"_What_?"

The whole class looked at him in bewilderment and Ace held a hand to his chin, "I'm looking at her in shock because _fake legs_, those are things you tell a guy on the first date, not the umpteenth time of sex. So while she's putting her fake legs away on the floor, I kind of just ran my hands through my hair and insisted that she was drunk and she really didn't want the sex and—"

"I do not have fake legs." Alice interrupted with a squinted eye his way.

She was surprised that she spoke up and the moment right after she did she could feel everyone in the class divert their attention from Ace to her.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Why did she speak up!?

Stomach queasy and anxiety rising she could only watch as Ace paused his story, his body now turning around in his seat to look at her curiously, "Oh? You don't? That's good to know." He smiled charmingly and Alice watched at him dumbfounded as silence swept through the classroom.

"So is your story a lie or…?" The Tweedles questioned slowly after it appeared no one else was going to speak.

"What? It's not a lie! This isn't a story with this Alice! It was from when me and Alice _Rogers_ dated!"

"Wait, Alice Rogers…? The one with the phony extensions and the uneven eyebrows?"

"No, no, that's Alice Rodriguez. Alice Rogers was the one that moved to South Diamond High last year."

"She was the one that had the beefy arms, right?"

"Yup!"

"WHOA!"

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

"ALICE ROGERS HAS FAKE LEGS!?"

"Yessssss, oh my God, you should have seen them."

Alice blinked her eyes.

Boris arched a brow, "How did she have fake legs? There was nothing wrong with her real ones. No way were those prosthetic."

The brunet nodded, "She told me afterwards she got them to cover over her real ones because they were too hairy?"

"Oh my Lord."

"Eww."

"What am I even listening to?" Dr. Walker laughed with a hand to his head.

"On that No Shave November status." A male toward the middle of the class snickered while rolling his leg onto his desk and pulling up the pants to show off his legs, "Girls be like 'No Shave November!' When they're actually participating in No D December!"

Vivaldi gave him a glare, "Good, because you can participate in No V Ever because no girl is going to want you with that kind of disgusting attitude. That must explain why you're still single and more than likely always will be."

"Oooooh."

"SHADE!"

"Get some ice for that burn."

Ace watched Alice with a smile amid the chaos the room was erupting in, "I don't care whether you shave or not Alice. I'll still love you."

The brunette felt her cheeks flush slightly before he continued, "We'll still have sex too!"

"Awww." She heard Nightmare drone from the back, "How sweet! Boyfriend of the year—Ow! Julius, what was that for!?"

"Stop being so bold in front of everyone!" She hissed as lowly as she could with a glower aimed his way, thankfully everyone else was preoccupied in their own loud drama to pay attention to the two of them.

Ace blinked, "Bold? I'm not being bold!"

"Yes, you are! You literally just gave out your business with Alice Rogers two seconds ago!"

She couldn't help but let her stomach flare in slight jealousy at the thought of the hairy legged female crawling over Ace like some sort of drunk gorilla in heat.

Did gorillas even go into heat?

She'd probably know if she had taken Environmental Science instead of taking this stupid social science class with her boyfriend.

This was probably the worst decision she could have ever made.

"Is that what you call being bold?" Ace laughed, "Alice is so shy!"

What a dickhole.

It really hadn't occurred to her until that moment that a dickhole and an asshole were essentially the same thing, but then that was only in the cases of anal sex… It was like she was calling him a twat and an asshole at the same time, incredible.

"Don't tease me, jerk!"

Okay, that came out lamer than she would have liked, especially considering how she was about 103% sure her face was probably the same color as Nightmare's pasty ass cheek after Gray spanked it or something.

Those two did always act like mother and child. She wouldn't be surprised if Gray spanked him over bad grades or something.

Wait. She couldn't get distracted, she had to focus.

Ace continued snickering, "If I was being bold, I would have talked about the time you kept changing your mind when we were first having sex together because you were nervous about my dick not fitting into you or something? Haha! That technically counts as a consent story because every time you said no, I tried pulling my pants back up but then you'd change your mind again and I'd have to whip it back out again."

It wasn't until he stopped talking that Alice came to realize the class had quit their noise and gotten awfully silent.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't tell her—

Fearfully, her eyes glanced to the side of her quickly and she came to notice that everyone was now staring at both her and Ace.

She gave her boyfriend a look to silence himself, her throat closing up beneath the pressuring gazes of everyone and in the back of her mind she could hear Nightmare, Boris, and the Tweedle twins laughing in the oddest mix of hysteria and quietness.

Ace didn't appear to notice her look or the fact everyone was listening to their conversation,

"Come to think of it, that was the first time I heard that girls in the school called my dick the Annihilator, haha! It was so cute when you told me! You were so shy and squeamish that night—Whoa, wait, why are you all staring? This was an A and B conversation. Don't be rude and nosey!"

Alice slowly rose her hand upward amid the new erupted noises of amusement the class broke out into while Dr. Walker attempted to calm them all down, reminding everyone of the golden rule of 'What happens in fifth period stays in fifth period.'

When he caught sight of Alice's hand, he made a gesture for her to speak.

"Dr. Walker, may I pleased be excused from class for the rest of my life?"

**-.-**

**Shout out to the dickbags in my Psych class for inspiring this **

**I'm going to try getting all my oneshots out because each one has a different pairing lol Next may be Peter's or Gray's idk or maybe someone else I dONT EVEN KNOW**

**Gaining back my old style is literally the hardest thing ever because it's become second nature for me to write and describe things more, sigh **

**Anyways, hope this was enjoyable :) **


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